Everything is spinning so quickly. We are running faster and faster. Planning with our minds, pushing our bodies beyond our capacity. We are not listening to what our heart and bodies are telling us. We are making up stories in our mind, disconnected from our bodies. Just the fact that many of us are not dancing because our mind tells us it should look a specific way.
Our to-do lists are longer than we can imagine and we try to cope with all the “must do’s”, trying to stay above the surface slowly drowning. When we have a minute between all the activities, we feel anxious, our heart beats faster and we are thinking about all what still needs to be done today. The wheel is spinning somehow faster and faster.
In the middle of all this, one day you might realise that your compass is lost. You start to ask yourself, what is my purpose in life? And when you cannot find it, you may get disappointed. You start to wonder how and where you will find it, but as you are running faster and faster, fixing all the “must do’s”, you do not even have time to sleep – how would you have time to understand your purpose in life? To find your purpose you may book a retreat, maybe a yoga retreat and you will have this amazing week connecting to yourself in a magic place with wonderful people. Then you come home and sooner than you know everyday life catches you and you wonder how you’d ended up here again. You had promised yourself not to end up here again so many times before. You get disappointed again. You are on a quest, searching for all these amazing ways to connect to yourself, but you cannot find something that lasts and that will make the change you are so badly longing for.
We are constantly moving, so it is important to adjust your compass in the preferred direction. But the busy life of today does not give us the time to even think about our compass. We are trying to steer a boat without a rudder. Without a clear path forward, our boat will just go round and round and round – quicker and quicker and quicker. Some of you already know your path, but your boat is still making these U-turns in many strange directions. Let me share my story.
I have always had a strong drive forward. So much energy was flowing in me. But my focus was on so many things and my energy was flowing in so many directions. I wanted things so badly. Sometimes I got what I wanted, but often opportunities just passed by and I was not on that train. I was pushing too hard, but Life wanted to give me something else. I had head-wind constantly. I could not let go of control and I was fighting against Life.
It does not matter if you are believing in God or not. Often it is said that we put things in the hands of God and then trust. But I have realized that it does not work exactly like that. You cannot only wish for something in life and then lean back and wait for it. You need to put in some hard work. What I did was, trying so many things at the same time, running in all directions simultaneously, always being exhausted. I never rested, I was just running like that sailboat without rudder around and around and around. Stillness did not exist in my life. I did spend time exercising but I was not enjoying it as I do now.
I have understood ‘where your focus goes, your energy flows’. So we need to connect to ourselves first. I will soon explain how, but first I just finish up on this one. So express your wish out loud. Say it or scream it so you really can hear your own voice and then start to point your compass in that direction. You do not have to come up with this brilliant purpose in life. Just start by wishing for something that you are really longing for. You do not know how powerful your energy is before you start directing it in a specific direction.
I have learned that neurons that fire together, wire together. So what do I mean with that. If you do the same thing all the time you will create your personality based on the same thoughts creating same feelings, which create the same behaviours. As we are having about 60 000 – 70 000 thoughts a day and 90% of them are usually the same as yesterday this is what follows: The same thoughts are resulting in the same choices, the same choices are resulting in the same behaviours, the same behaviours result in the same experiences and the same experiences are resulting in the same feelings, which result in the same thoughts. You see the pattern. This is why we are stuck and do not really know how to get out from our cage. We are trying so hard and miss the big thing here. To really connect to ourselves. Because the answer lies deep within us and a week of retreat or a breath or pause now and then is not enough. This work is so much deeper and you need to be persistent.
Start with setting your compass in the preferred direction and then realise that this will take time. This is not a quick fix. It will take time to slow down. You need to start to focus your energy toward your centre. This also means to let go of control. For some of us, this will be the hardest part. But this is the key to step from living in the control of the mind to living from your heart.
Imagine this sailboat without rudder, sailing in circles. So let this sailboat make these big movements toward a centre. Like you trying to gather everything toward a middle point. This motion can take plenty of time, so be patient. And you what? You may need to ask for help here. I believe you meet people in Life for some kind of reason. So if you do, take that hand and trust the process without trying to control it.
To connect is the process of grounding and finding presence. Let that tree without roots finally spread its roots into the ground. You will slowly find contact with your body, your heart and your mind on so many levels. Remember that it will take time to establish a relationship to places in the body that have been forgotten or over tense. I encourage you to try out my free movement classes with somatic exploration or movement therapy. It has helped me a lot to find contact with parts in my body where I have been stuck.
While starting this process, there will most likely also be a lot of resistance. So fill yourself with some resilience. You will most probably also realize that you have been disconnected from several parts of your body and it takes time to start to communicate with all these places. There can be a lot of hurt and sorrow and fear stored in your body as well. So when you connect to presence and to your body, do it with so much unconditional love to yourself as you possibly can. And hey, remember to take a tiny step every day. Skip the rush and celebrate every tiny victory when you connect or reconnect to a part of you.
Can you promise me one more thing before I end? I know it will most probably be tough, but please enjoy every breath of this process of connecting to yourself and be thankful that you have started your journey on the path of living the life that is your birthright – To be fully aLIVe.